i am a butterfly…

Archive for the ‘Grateful’ Category

With the way the economy is looking right now, I’m so very grateful that Scott has a job and that I have work. Work for me has been down a bit, because it’s down for my clients, but I have a couple of bread and butter clients who help get me through.

And as for Scott’s job, it appears to be stable, which is a huge relief. The firm has been making cuts here and there, but not many to staffing. They’re even still giving bonuses this year, which is great, because we expected to hear that bonuses were cancelled. The cuts have taken the form of things like no holiday parties, which saved them several million.

So I’m grateful that, even though things are tight, we’re doing alright, which is more than many others can say.

Today I’m really grateful for my mother. When I called her after my doctor appointment last week and told her that the surgery date was set, she asked if I wanted her to come up for the surgery. I asked, “Do you want to come?” And she replied, “It’s up to you, but if you want your mommy there, you’ll have your mommy there.”

And yeah, I really do want my mommy there. Even at nearly 39 years old, when I’m sick or hurt, I still want my mother. So she’s coming up on the 16th and will stay with us that night, then stay in a hotel near the hospital for a couple of days.

I’m really glad she’s coming, and so is Scott, who remembers how her presence during my first surgery helped keep him sane while they sat for 7 hours and waited for news. Hopefully they won’t be sitting with no news for that long this time, but if they are, it’s nice to know they’ll have each other to help keep calm during that time.

And even nicer to know that she’ll be there when I wake up in recovery.

Hey! Two days in a row! If I’m not careful, these may become not so semi anymore.

Today I’m grateful to be part of an incredible online community. I’ve been part of a certain Grateful Dead related message board for some years now, and a lot of the people there have become good friends in real life. I even found a husband for that kindred spirit on this message board. I get frustrated and annoyed with people there sometimes, especially during this campaign season, but then something always happens that makes me remember that there are some very fine people there, and that we really are a community.

One of our community has a very sick sister. She thought her sister was going to die, but she pulled through and is now facing a long recovery. Since her sister’s illness began last week, P. has been trying to get together money for a plane ticket to go see her, and worrying about lost wages while she’s away. Today, the community pulled together and a whole lot of us chipped ina little bit to help cover P.’s plane ticket and some of what she’ll lose by not working for a few days. No one had to donate a lot; many people donating a little made a difference.

This isn’t the first time this has happened, either. When someone’s in trouble, the community circles the wagons and helps make it a little bit better. I love that, and I’m grateful to be a part of it.

Today, I’m grateful for the abundance of fresh, local produce available to me. Last night’s dinner included a really simple side dish of diced red bell peppers and corn cut from the cob, sauteed in a little bit of butter, with salt and pepper. Both were local and so sweet and wonderful, especially the corn. The side dish overshadowed the entree of crab stuffed salmon.

I’m so happy that, even though I live in New York City, local produce can be had with ease at this time of year. And it helps, too, that produce from New Jersey is some of the best to be found, particularly the corn!

Today I’m grateful for Ravelry. I’m grateful for Ravelry every day, actually. I’ve learned so much about knitting since I joined there last year. The site and the community are such an incredible resource, and the fact that Casey and Jess offer it free to users is amazing. In just 10 months, it’s become an indispensible part of my knitting life. I’m so happy it exists!

Today I am grateful for my husband, who understands my quirks and finds them charming rather than irritating. That’s why he can come home from work, find an entire roll’s worth of neatly stacked paper towels on the counter, and completely accept my response to his questioning glance with just a nod, as if it’s entirely reasonable and expected.

That response? That I needed the tube from the paper towel roll to wind a yarn cake.

Today I’m grateful for my health.

Yeah, I know I moan and complain about my health a lot, sometimes even with legitimate reasons, but I’m generally pretty healthy, and I’m really thankful for that. The infertility sucks, and the cancer thing sucks, but even if it turns out that the cancer thing is back, all I’ll have to do is have some surgery and that will be that. It would suck, but I’d be alive and even untreated, I’d still live.

There’s a guy on a message board I read who is slowly being eaten alive by cancer. He posts updates now and again and the latest is not encouraging. He’s dying a slow, painful death, and this has been going on for a year.  Since the birth of his daughter, as a matter of fact. If I remember correctly, he was having his first chemo while his infant girl was still in the hospital, and she’s over a year old now. Through it all, he has defined grace, strength, and courage. Even though he’s in pain every day, terrible pain, he gets up and takes care of the house and baby while his wife goes out and works her ass off to make sure they have an income and health care. These people are my heroes.

And so today I’m grateful for the health that I’m blessed with, so that I don’t have to be as graceful, strong, or courageous as J. and his wife. or live each day in excruciating pain. This is a gift.

Today I’m grateful that I live in a city with a great public transportation system.

While we’re definitely feeling the pinch of the economy these days – groceries are crazy expensive, our rent went up 10% this year, our electricity bill gets higher all the time – one area where we haven’t felt it very keenly is with gas. The reason for that is that Scott takes the subway to work and I work at home. So while it hurt when we hit our first $40 fill-up – small car, small tank – it doesn’t hurt so badly since we only have to do that every 2 weeks or so.

Today, I’m grateful for all of you. All of you who come here and read this site and comment. I’m grateful for the things you share, for the support you offer, for making me laugh, and for just being you.

Thanks.

I am so grateful for the N train, which allows me to get from the east side to the west side in relative comfort. Yea, verily.