i am a butterfly…

Perhaps you don’t want to read through the entire Barren & Bitter category to catch up. And really, who can blame you? I don’t want to slog through all that either, and I lived it. So, here’s a brief timeline to explain it:

August 1999 – Scott and I get married, and decide to wait a year to start trying to get pregnant.

Somewhere around June 2000 – I stop taking birth control pills and get a complete physical to make sure I’m in good health for getting pregnant. They tell me I am.

August 2000 – We officially start trying.

Around November 2001 – I begin panicking and buy Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Long years of sex no longer for pleasure begin.

Around February 2001 – I started researching herbs and vitamins. I went on a strict regimen of supplements. Vitamin E, Evening Primrose Oil, Vitamin C… more pills than I care to remember. Scott, too, went on a daily diet consisting of pill after pill.

Early 2002 – Because we’re slackers about everything and I keep hoping that the traditional way of getting pregnant will work, we wait till this time to seek medical intervention. After an HSG and a semen analysis, I do 3 cycles of Clomid under the not so watchful eye of my GYN.

April 2002 – I try accupuncture.

September 2002 – I let my stupid, judgemental, preachy GYN talk me into another 3 cycles of Clomid, again with no oversight and not a single ultrasound during the whole run.

November 2002 – The stupid GYN finally relents and refers me to an RE. We have one visit with the RE – the preliminary “getting to know you” visit – before all hell breaks loose.

December 2002 - During a routine physical, a mass is found in my abdomen. It turns out to be a 3×4-inch mass on my right ovary, which at this point is being called a cyst.

January 2003 – I go to a new GYN to deal with the cyst. A pelvic sonogram shows that there’s another mass on my left ovary. The one on the right is 4×2.5×3.25 inches and is fluid and solids. The other one is 2×3×2 inches and seems to be mostly solids. We put the pregnancy thing on hold and hope to be back in the RE’s office by April, at the latest. They take blood for a CA125 test, which is a test for ovarian cancer, but are sure it’s not cancer.

February 2003 – The CA125 results come back through the roof and I’m referred to a GYN oncologist. He tells me that he’s sure we’re dealing with ovarian cancer.

March 2003 – I have surgery to remove the, what are now called, tumors. They also remove my right ovary and a few other bits and pieces. My oncologist leaves my uterus, cervix, and left ovary, because he knows we want children. After all the biopsies come back, I’m staged at IIIa, but with non-invasive cancer. Low malignant potential ovarian tumor is what they call it. There’s no chemo or radiation, because it grows very slowly and hasn’t been shown to be effected by chemo or radiation. So we hope they removed all the bad things and move on.

April 2003 – I’m amazed when my cycle resumes right on time, as if I didn’t have people’s hands rummaging around my innards just a few weeks prior.

At this point, we decide not to pursue treatment with the RE and to see if anything happens naturally.

April 2004 – They find another mass on my left ovary.

September 2004 – I have surgery to remove the new mass. A flash biopsy during the surgery shows it to be non-cancerous, so they leave the ovary. Later, frozen sections will show that it was a cancerous tumor after all. I feel like I dodged a bullet, because I still had a functioning – ha ha ha – reproductive system.

Over the next few years, we decided to adopt from China and started saving for that. We were given a very generous gift by a family member to help us fund the adoption, and started putting plans in place. Until…

June 2007 – We decided, for a variety of reasons I’m not ready to talk about, to try ART before adopting.

September 2007 – IVF 1.0 is cancelled due to failure to respond properly to the Lupron.

November 1, 2007 – IVF 1.1 hits the end, with a negative beta after a day 5 transfer of 3 perfect embryos.

February, 2008 – 2 embryos transferred, and IVF 2.0 ends with another negative beta.

December 17, 2008- Yet another surgery. Yet another tumor. But my remaining ovary is saved – for the last time, if it happens again, the ovary goes – and we have the go ahead for more IVF.