i am a butterfly…

Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Me: I think I need to see a grief counselor. That would help.
Him: Yeah, that’s a good idea.
Me: And maybe if I’m not sad all the time, I’ll be less bitchy.
Him: I’ll make you an appointment!

Goblin’s most common nickname is “Boogie.” We call him that so much that I don’t think he knows his name is really Goblin anymore.

It always make me laugh when he jumps up somewhere he shouldn’t be, causing us to yell at him: “Get down, Boogie! Boogie, get down!”

It’s like a 70’s disco around here.

At being a 1930’s housewife, so it’s okay. I took this quiz, which I found over at Nancy’s. I scored a total of 11 points, which puts me a Very Poor (Failure) on the 1930’s wife scale.

Are we surprised?

Actually, we are. Not at my score, but at Scott’s. There’s an option to take the quiz as a husband, which Scott did. And he scored 97 points! 97 points, people! Apparently, Scott would have been an outstanding husband in the 1930’s.

He’s a pretty good husband in the 21st century, though, so it’s okay.

J is for Joxer, the doofiest cat I know.

I’ve written before about how sneaky Joxer is, and long time readers will probably remember the story of his arrival in our family, so I won’t mention that again. Instead, I’ll tell you what a goofball he is.

A while back, over a year ago, I saw this fabric tunnel thing at the pet store. Somehow, I have a knack of knowing what toys will appeal to which cat just upon seeing the toy in a store, and when I saw this tunnel, I turned to Scott and said, “Joxer will love this.” So we bought it and brought it home and set it up, and sure enough, within seconds of standing up the tunnel on the floor, Joxer came running from across the room and dove into it. The thing is, that tunnel is meant for normal sized cats, not the 20 pounds of feline maniacalness that is my Joji. As soon as he dove his enormous body into the tunnel, it collapsed, and it has never stood up properly again.

That doesn’t deter my boy, though. Since the tunnel won’t stand up for him to get his body into it, he just lays next to it with his arms stuck into it. (His loooooong arms, which earned him one of his nicknames: Longshanks.) Once or twice I day, I’ll set it up so it’s standing precariously on its side, beckoning for him to enter. That’s when he tries to get all sly and sneaky and to pretend he doesn’t care. He wanders around, acting like he’s not looking at it, while all the time his eyes keep darting over to it. 30 seconds later, he can’t take it anymore and he pounces. The tunnel collapses and he and it go sliding 10 feet across the hardwood floor from the force of his leap.

It’s a pretty damned funny sight to behold.

Aside from being doofy and sneaky, he’s also one of the sweetest cats I’ve ever known. He’s definitely a lover, not a fighter. We were really blessed the day he and his sister decided they wanted to live here.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that Scott snores. Loudly. Very, very loudly. I’ve probably also mentioned that ear plugs saved my marriage. Last weekend, however, I made the mistake of forgetting to pack ear plugs when we went away to Pittsburgh for the weekend. Huge, huge, huge mistake.

We had a horrible night Friday night. Between the hours of midnight and 6am, I must have hit him 15 times. Every 20 minutes or so, I would start dropping off into sleep, and then he would start snoring again. Loudly. That jerked me awake and made me shove him between the shoulder blades to shut him up. Then the cycle would start again. Once in a while, I threw in a “shut UP” just for giggles and to change things up a little.

Finally, around 6:15, it got really quiet. Relieved, I snuggled down into the covers and started to drift off into blessed sleep, only to have my eyes snap open 5 minutes later. It was TOO quiet, and when it’s too quiet, I usually get a sick feeling that Scott has died and I have to wake up to check. When I opened my eyes this time, though, it was to see that his side of the bed was empty. I scanned the room and saw him standing near the doorway. Just standing there.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Standing,” he replied.

‘Why?”

“I wanted you to be able to sleep, and if I stayed in bed, I’d snore. And if I sit in a chair, I’ll fall asleep and I’ll snore. And I was going to lay in the tub with a pillow and sleep in there, but I thought the tile might make the snoring echo. So I couldn’t think of anything else to do, so I’m standing.”

I don’t know how long he planned to stand there like that, but he’d already been there for the whole 5 minutes it was quiet!

I started laughing, because I didn’t know what else to do, then invited him to lay back down and cuddle, telling him how sweet it was that he was willing to stand quietly in the middle of a room for gods know how long so that I could get a little bit of uninterrupted sleep. Amazingly, the snoring got better for the next couple of hours, and we both were able to get a little sleep.

The first thing we did Saturday morning was hit a CVS to buy ear plugs.

This quote from the article cracked me up:

“This New Wave Nigel doll that they’ve created is just a complete Devo rip-off and the red hat is exactly the red hat that I designed, and it’s copyrighted and trademarked.

“They didn’t ask us anything. Plus, we don’t like McDonald’s, and we don’t like American Idol, so we’re doubly offended.”

A horror movie for fiber geeks?

Seen on Ravelry.